Today was my 6th treatment, four to go, then I go straight into liver radiation which will be 5 treatments every other day. Then I’ll be done until the next scans. I’m still hanging in there with all these symptoms, I got a new one…sores in my mouth. The inside of my mouth is raw and doesn’t so much hurt when I eat, but when I brush my teeth. I get confused and disoriented a lot, but that’s expected I guess. I feel like I’m slowly losing my brain function, thus the writing of another blog….trying to keep this old brain working! I’m glad I went to the beach especially with my family, precious memories made. Between Eric and I we have 7 kids and all but 2 have families, but everyone is scattered around the whole US so it would be hard to get us altogether..but that would be TOTALLY AWESOME if we could ALL get together for a family vacation! I would LOVE to see everyone again before I die and love on and hug all those sweet grand-babies!!! I guess I just feel it’s getting closer because of the tumors in the brain and how fast they are spreading. Once I lose my brain function my body will be no good. I’m afraid I may not know what a beach is pretty soon, or have the ability to drive myself anywhere. I’ve given instructions to my husband to close out this blog and my social media. And I’m glad my daughters are helping out with rides cause we get to spend time together and have some good and important chats. I don’t know how much longer I’ll recognize them or be able to have these talks. So girls…or family members/friends…better tell me what you got to say to me now or forever hold your peace. Because I don’t know how much longer I’ll be maintaining brain function!
Yeah losing my brain functions suck. I’m slowly losing vocabulary, English, cognitive, and comprehension, typing, math skills, balance, memory, etc…. I can still do things that are habitual though. Like getting ready for bed, getting up, making coffee, take all my meds, I have them in a weekly pill holder so I can remember if I took them or not. One thing that sucks is that I’m not trusted to watch my grandbaby Eliana all by myself anymore. Someone has to be here with me. 😦
And I finally gave up my nursing career in May and decided to go on full disability. I cried when I had to send all my equipment back. It was a chapter in my life that I was closing the door to. I’m STILL gonna keep my Texas license active, but the other ones I’m letting expire. I’m still praying for a cancer curing miracle to come around and save me. Since I have so much fatigue, I guess I have all the time needed if my body says it needs sleep.
I pray I keep most of my brain to see my youngest graduate, which is another year and a half. I know there are many milestones I would like to be here and see…but that one is for sure!
Well this writing has helped. Thanks for reading. I’m getting tired so guess I’ll go to sleep. Goodnight everyone. Sweet dreams! 🙂