Getting ready for the New Year!

I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas! I had a wonderful Christmas and am looking forward to the New Year! 2020 will start off with our son getting married. He gets married on New Years Day! Then the next day I start radiation on my lung which will be 5 treatments over 2 weeks. It will also be body scan time and in Feb my brain will be scanned again. Hopefully this next year I will be blessed with no new progressions. So far I’ve been feeling pretty good. I’ve been too busy to feel bad. I don’t have time to be sick. During these last 2 cycles I haven’t gotten the chemo flu too bad. I’ve had days when my stomach hurt or I get really fatigued, but it hasn’t knocked me on my butt like it usually does. I’ve been lucky and God has answered my prayers for Nov and Dec since it has been over the holidays. My chemo was delayed by a week since it was Christmas and my next dose of chemo would have been on Christmas Eve. Instead they moved the date to Mon Dec 30th. So I am really hoping I am not sick for my sons wedding.

My new puppy is doing good and got a good clean bill of health from the Vet yesterday. He went for his 3rd set of shots. He didn’t even cry. He does have a mild case of ear mites so they gave him some ear drops. He also got his first bath tonight which he did pretty good. He was scared at first, but once he got used to the warm water on him then me scrubbing his little body, he liked that and just sat there. He is now fluffy soft and clean and smelling pretty. At the Vet yesterday I also picked up my Chips ashes. They had them in a nice little wooden box engraved with footprints and his name. Inside the box is a little plastic bag with his white ashes. It was bittersweet. I miss him and still think about him daily. But I’m getting better at calling Hopper Hopper and not Chip or Chopper. This little puppy has kept me really busy during the day and keeps me from being sad. I think I would still be crying daily if I didn’t have that little puppy. Cause being alone during the day can get lonely. And this little puppy is constantly by my side!

This holiday season has brought a lot of time being spent with family. I have really enjoyed that. For the last 3 years since I was diagnosed, Time, my family, friends, and just life itself have become really precious to me, more so than normal. When I was first diagnosed my prognosis was 5-8 years. Then when it went to my spine I was told maybe 5 years. Then when it went to my brain I was told maybe 2 years. So Time is dwindling but my spirit is strong and my will to live is strong and I know that people outlive their prognosis’ all the time, and I plan on being one of those people. It’s weird, but before the brain radiation I felt like my time was getting near the end, but then the weirdest thing happened…after I was done with brain radiation, I all of a sudden felt renewed and like I was going to live a lot longer. Death did not seem to linger in my near future anymore. My outlook became positive. I actually have been feeling great despite how my body feels…from the effects of chemo and radiation. I don’t dwell on how my body feels, I just keep going despite the pain and I try not to think about it or let it stop me from living and going on. If I did give into it, I would never get out of bed and constantly be on pain meds. But I don’t want to give into this disease and let it win, so I FIGHT! I do take the nausea medications on a regular basis throughout the day to keep me from vomiting and so that I can tolerate eating some food, but other than that, unless the pain is intolerable, I don’t take any pain med. I just deal with it. I think what really hurts the most are my feet from the neuropathy, it is a constant pain. It hurts to walk. I finally got a handicap parking placard for my car so I can park close to buildings and not have to walk so far which has been a blessing givin that not only do my feet hurt, but I’ve been weakened by the chemo and tire and get out of breath real easy. Sometimes my body feels like it is over a 100 years old. I’m going to try to start doing yoga this next year to hopefully help my body not feel so old by stretching and doing some strengthening exercises. On black Friday my husband bought me a smart TV for the front room so I can get on YouTube and do exercises that they have on there. Once all this hustle and bustle from the holidays is over and things calm down and get back to normal I can start to focus on my body more. I also have gotten used to using CBD oil and taking THC edibles. At first I didn’t like they way they made me feel. But now I’ve gotten used to them and they don’t make me feel so weird anymore and I can function just fine. The good thing is they give me the munchies so I eat! And the food actually TASTES good! They also help with pain, nausea, and sleep. I don’t eat them as much as I should, but I’m going to try to start eating them more since they help so much.

Another present that I am excited to open up is a Centipede Mini Arcade Game that I got for Christmas. It’s just like the real Centipede arcade game except it is a miniature one that sits on a table. That was always my favorite arcade game and I used to be really good at it. I’m sure that will keep me busy and entertained for hours during the day. I’m also going to try and write in this blog more, plus I’ve been writing my life story in this book that my oldest daughter gave me when I was first diagnosed. I tried to finish it by Christmas so that I could give it to her as a gift, but it is really long and I didn’t get to finish it in time. But I hope to finish it soon and give it to her. This Christmas I got hooked on watching those cheesy Christmas love stories on the Hallmark and Lifetime Channels. LOL They are FEEL GOOD kind of movies. I like those kind. Finding things to do that I have the energy for here around the house has been hard. I just started driving long distances again since the brain radiation so now I can start going places again. I just have to keep busy. I don’t have energy everyday, but on days that I do feel good, I have to stay busy.

Well that’s it for tonight! I hope everyone has a blessed and safe New Year!

Much love, Laura.

Still waiting…

Still waiting to start radiation on my lung. I guess with the holidays it is taking a little longer. I am hoping they do it before the end of the year since I have already met my deductible. In January it starts all over again and I have to pay out of pocket until I meet my deductible again. Usually I have to get on payment plans which I try to pay off by the end of each year. I just paid this years medical bills off. Yayyyyy!!! A cancer benefit was held for me last Sunday which my oldest daughter put together and threw for me with the help of my other two daughters and family. They raised over $2000.00 for me which I could not have been more grateful for. I have such a loving and caring family. 🙂

The next day, Monday, 1 week ago today, I had to put my little Maltese puppy to sleep forever. 😦 while we were gone on Sunday something happened to his back. He was fine when we left in the morning but when we got home in the evening he could only walk using his front legs and he was dragging his back legs. He was paralyzed from the middle of his back down and no longer had control of his bowels or bladder. I took him to the Vet the next morning and I had to put him down. Since we have no idea of how he injured himself, the Vet said it is common in Weenie dogs for their spines to fracture since they have such long bodies. My Chip had a long body for a Maltese and they think that his back just fractured. So weird. He wasn’t even 3 years old yet. His birthday would have been on January 8th.

Putting my Chippers down was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I still cry when I think about it. He was my baby boy, my little buddy. He was a Velcro dog and stuck to me like glue. Wherever I went he was right by me. My heart hurt so bad. I loved that little dog so much! That same night, my husband surprised me with another little puppy. He is a black and white Malti-Poo. I didn’t want another dog, especially not so soon. I was mourning my Chip. But my husband said that the puppy was not to replace Chip, but to fill the hole in my heart and give me something to nurture, and to love. Although my heart hurt, this new little puppy warmed my heart and made me smile. Not only smile, but laugh. He is a really funny little puppy and since he has Maltese in him, he is a lot like Chip. He too is a Velcro dog and sticks right by me just like my Chip used to. Since he has Poodle in him, he is really smart! His coat is really soft like Chips was. We named him Hopper cause he hops around like a bunny. LOL It’s really funny. I find myself accidentally calling him Chip at times or Chopper..cause Chip starts to come out, then I remember it is Hopper…so it comes out Chopper. LOL I’ll get it eventually. Just going to take some time. Even though I didn’t want him at first, I am glad my husband got him for me cause he keeps me really busy and I have a new little buddy that is always by my side. 🙂

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and me and my whole family are getting together at my brothers house for a Prime Rib dinner. I just LOVE Christmas and being around my family. I don’t want Christmas to be over so soon! I think I’m going to keep my tree up until the end of January. 🙂 I love it and all the pretty lights! We finished wrapping all the presents tonight. FINALLY! WHEW! That was a chore! We have family coming in tomorrow. Our son and his wife and son from Kentucky will be here over Christmas and leave on the 27th. This will be the first time seeing our new grandbaby, Clark. He is a little over a year old. So we will have 2 grandbabies here with us this Christmas! How exciting!

On Saturday night we took Eliana to get her first picture with Santa Claus. She did great! Didn’t even cry. She looked so cute in her little red dress with her sparkly red shoes. She is a little Princess! I can’t wait to get pictures of her and Clark together. Gonna be so fun with the grandbabies here. I just love babies, kids, the whole shabang! And the little ones just make the holidays that much sweeter! Speaking of sweet….my husband made his famous fruit cake and I can’t wait to dive into it! It has been soaking in wine since Thanksgiving and we get to eat it on Christmas! I’ve never liked fruit cake and don’t like most, BUT THIS ONE…this one is the bomb!

Well it’s getting pretty late and I’m getting pretty tired so I better get off of here and call it a night. Just wanted to give an update and let everyone know that I have been doing pretty good. Fighting fatigue, and insomnia at times. Still nauseous all the time and a very little appetite. But I have had some energy to be able to get things done. For the most part I’ve been able to keep this ol body going.

Well goodnight everyone and I hope everyone has a very merry Christmas and a Happy New Year if I am not on here before then.

Goodnight.

Been awhile.

Hello everyone! I’m still here! LOL I know it’s been awhile since my last post, I actually wrote a really long post in Nov. that got erased twice when I tried to post it due to no wifi. Then I just got frustrated and haven’t written since. A lot has happened since my last post. I finally had radiation to my brain and it was every bit as bad I thought it was going to be! Laying there with a tight mask over my whole face and head, and my head locked inside of a cage for 45 minutes being as still as possible was no picnic. Now I’m waiting to start lung radiation. I’ve already had the mapping where they make the molds of my whole body that holds me still, and take the CT scans to pinpoint the tumor, now they have to do their calculations and make the plan. I have to wear this barbaric black metal brace thing over my chest/lungs that has a large screw thing in the middle that screws down over my diaphragm as tight as I can stand it so that I barely breath. Again, I have to lay on the table with that thing on for 45 minutes, really still, for 5 treatments. I AM NOT looking forward to this at all! UGH…the shit I’ve had to endure from having cancer. This will be my fifth round of radiation. I remember when I finished the first round, the radiation team ‘graduated’ me by throwing confetti on me when I walked out of the radiation room for the last time and gave me a certificate that everyone signed. Not anymore!….now I walk in and I’m greeted by my name, everyone knows me there now.

I’ve been dealing with major fatigue this week and slept till 4 pm today. I got up, ate, showered, and went back to bed. I had chemo last week, so the chemo and radiation in my body together takes a toll on me and wears me out. But I was able to get my Christmas tree and decorations up a week before Thanksgiving thanks to the help of my youngest daughter Katy Bug. She has also been coming over to learn and write down her favorite recipes that she grew up eating to carry on with her children…that warms my heart. I had a great Thanksgiving with family. I actually ate OK even though my appetite wasn’t the greatest. I wish I had the appetite I used to have so I could have eaten all of that delicious food. But nothing tastes like it used to since chemo has killed my taste-buds. But I enjoyed being with family. Christmas is our next family get together. We get together and celebrate with the whole family on Christmas Eve, then our immediate family comes over to our house on Christmas day morning and we eat breakfast and open gifts from each other. Then everyone goes their own way and me and Eric will usually go to a movie. I just LOVE LOVE LOVE the holidays. Especially Christmas. We have yet to go walk the lighted trail down by the Colorado river. We like to take mugs filled with Amaretto spiced Hot Chocolate. YUM!

My oldest daughter Chelsie will be 31 on Christmas Eve. She was my Christmas present in 1988. BEST Christmas present EVER!!! I can’t believe its been 31 years. Seems like it was just yesterday that I was pregnant with her. Time flies.

Our son that lives in Virginia is coming home to get married here on Jan. 1st. They are getting married in a movie Drive In and Eric, my husband, is marrying them. Maybe I’ll be expecting our 11th grandchild from our new daughter around Aug of next year??…hmmmm….mayyybeee….