Getting Mentally Ready

I saw the radiation doctor today and discussed the radiation and it’s side effects. Got the ‘mapping’ done…that is where they do a CT scan of the area they are going to radiate so they can do the accurate calculations of where the radiation beam is going to go. They make a mold that I lay on that keeps me in place. I’ll start radiation sometime next week for 10 daily treatments. Then I’ll start the new targeted Chemo on June 27th…one week after my 54th birthday. It’s on my cousins 54th birthday. We used to celebrate our birthdays together when we were little cause we were only 1 week apart.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. But I’m afraid of both. The radiation to my spine comes with many risks, and the strong targeted chemo…again. I always get scared when I’m going to start chemo cause you never know how your body is going to react. But I tolerated the other two, hopefully I’ll be fine with this one. I know I’ll have side effects, I just hope my body can tolerate them. T-DM1 is the new chemo medication I’ll be getting every three weeks. Not sure how many cycles I’ll be getting yet, but from what I’ve read they give it you until it stops working and you have another progression. I have read many success stories about this medication so hopefully it will work well for me too. I still have too much to live for. And I hope I have a good tolerable quality of life while on this med.

I am finally over the shock and have accepted my circumstance. Now I’m ready to FIGHT!

This past Sunday several churches in our town got together at the Convention Center for worship and prayer. It was awesome. I was prayed over by a Pastor who’s wife had had breast cancer and was healed from his prayer. He prayed over me and I was ‘slain in the spirit’ (that is where the holy spirit knocks you out) I laid on the floor frozen. God showed me heaven. There were two Angels that looked like two huge colorful doves that hovered over me. I couldn’t get my eyes off of them. They were luminescent. I felt no pain and so much peace. It was such a beautiful experience. I believe he showed me heaven and where I would be going to ease my fears. And to show me how beautiful it is going to be and the feeling that I would have as I transitioned. I’m not afraid anymore. I know I will be fine. But I am hoping that is still some time away, because I’m just not ready to leave this earth quite yet. I was hoping for a miracle and that I would be healed of these tumors. But that didn’t happen as the CT scan showed today. But I did feel better afterwards. I believe these next treatments will be successful though…maybe that is where the miracle is going to be. An extended life for many years….time will tell. Wait and see…

2 thoughts on “Getting Mentally Ready

  1. We will turn a negative into a positive on June 27th. We will celebrate the beginning of successful, earthly healing for your physical, spiritual and mental being. Love you!

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