Yes, I ended up getting Covid 19 at the end of Jan and Spent the first 9 nine days of Feb in the hospital before finally being released on Oxygen which I am still on today. Having Covid was horrible! I already have compromised lungs from asthma and cancer, then add to it Covid Pneumonia AND bacterial pneumonia! It was all the love, prayers, and GOD that got me through it! Plus 3 different antibiotics!
Being isolated from everyone was no fun either. Good thing I had video calling so I could see my husband and family when we talked. And it’s nice being a nurse and knowing things cause I could tell them what I needed and wanted and they would listen to me. 🙂 I’ve been home on oxygen for over a month now and the doctor says I will probably be on oxygen for a few more months. He restarted my chemo and got scans of my whole body including the brain and everything came back good except a tiny new spot on my brain. But they are going to ZAP it and be done with it! Everything else remained stable or still shrinking.
I’ve been tied to an oxygen line here in my home for quite sometime now, that the the solitude has left me thinking a lot. Although a lot of my freedoms have been taken away slowly pre covid by cancer…a lowered immune system has had me wearing a mask and being in isolation. But now even more so. My freedom to drive is temporarily gone due to brain tumors and radiation, and now I am unable to travel without help because these portable oxygen tanks are heavy and cumbersome and they only last 2-4 hours, so you have to carry multiple tanks and guestimate the time you’ll be gone. They have been trying to get me a portable oxygen concentrator that I can carry around, it weighs about 5 pounds and you plug it in to charge. I’m not sure how long those last, but we’ll find out soon enough.
Anyway I’ve had time to think about my quality of life. Someone close to me once told me that they would rather die than live the life that I’m living and go through everything that I’ve gone through. Sure, it’s been hard, but I’ve never thought I’d rather be dead. I am glad I still get to wake up and breath air even if I need help from an oxygen tank. I know this is only temporary. I get to open my eyes and see the blue sky and sunshine. I like the feeling of being alive even if I am sick. I get to still kiss my husband everyday and feel his loving arms around me and close my eyes each night and drift off to sleep with him by my side. I love that I still get to see, touch and feel the love of all of my kids, family, and grandkids. Eliana’s running into my arms with a huge smile and squeezing those little arms around my neck is a feeling I’ll never forget.
I love talking to and being here for my kids when they need me. I love talking to my mom on the phone and hearing her laughter. I love hearing and seeing my brother and his wife when they video call me and karaoke/serenade me before I go to sleep. I love when my sister comes over and helps me plant pretty flowers in the spring and fall. I love that I have reunited with my eldest brother in Virginia. And also reunited with most of my cousins and talk on a regular basis.
So much life that I would have missed had I not fought and continue to fight. The beauty of life is priceless. It’s all the small things that matter most that we just take for granted. A sweet kiss from a loved one, a hug from a friend. The smell of coffee brewing in the morning. Eating your favorite food. So many things to list.
I could have died many times over but I believe it’s my love for life that keeps me going. I am so thankful to everyone for their prayers, good doctors and nurses, great insurance, and GOD. And to that one person who says they would rather have died, I say I would do the same thing all over again, just to be alive, sitting here writing this blog.
Love to all!!!